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Hypodermic needle

Facebook is very good about reminding you as to what happened to you many years before, when you write in Facebook it becomes your diary… Today is such a day, a day when I’m reminded about a particularly painful episode in my life, four years ago…

Just back from hospital after getting my tongue lasered to remove a blood vessel which kept on bleeding.
The doctor looked at it, “that wee thing?”. I nodded, “bleeds like crazy when it starts…” “OK, I’ll just deaden the pain with a wee injection, you may feel a small jag…”
He then approached me with a two foot long harpoon, and hosed some of the liquid into the air to expel any air… “The nurse will just anchor your tongue to keep it still…”
Nurse Rached grabbed a hold of my tongue and did her level best to pull it from my body.

The doctor approached my restrained body with the needled weapon and shoved the thinnest end into my tongue. He reached above his head to push down the plunger, “this may hurt a little” he said cheerily, the plunger coming into view as he filled up my tongue. When my body stopped shaking and jerking spasmodically, he smiled again…

“So…” let’s begin. “You ready Nurse?” Nurse Rached nodded and braced herself, as she tried once more to pull my tongue from my body.
The doctor leaned over me with the laser. “Keep your tongue nice and still please.” The next thing was smoke rising from my mouth, and the unmistakeable smell of burning flesh rose into the air. This went on for a while and eventually, the Doctor stepped back and Nurse Rached reluctantly released my tongue.
“That’s it finished, the wee vessel was a lot larger under the surface…” He smiled at me and the nurse handed me a swab, and a leaflet about after laser care.
So that’s me home, sorted… and now the tongue is starting to hurt… Liquid refreshment now only I imagine. Now what to drink, several bottles of whisky are beckoning…

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